Therapy / psychotherapy / talk therapy: How can it help?

Are you considering therapy? Her beskriver vi hovedlinjene i vår forståelse av hvordan psykiske plager utvikles og hvordan samtaleterapi hjelper. 

We describe mechanisms at different levels that contribute, and how we work in therapy to change the established patterns.

Slik vil du få økt forståelse av prosessene i samtaleterapi og lettere avgjøre om terapi kan hjelpe deg. Du vil også få en klarere fornemmelse av om vi kan være riktig psykolog for deg.

All courses of therapy are different and the breadth of issues is large. Sometimes one seeks conversational therapy for expertise in discussions of a current situation.

Other times, there are years of patterns you want for life. What is common, however, is that when talk therapy works, it is about change.

The first level is to be able to deal with symptoms and locked patterns without compromising functioning. The next step is to even get rid of symptoms and ailments.

Secondly, about inner freedom, development and growth.

Why talk therapy with a psychologist?

An ordinary human life offers plenty of limitations, challenges and painful experiences in itself, if one is not to have to deal with life-limiting, painful and oppressive internal processes as well.

Vi gjør dette arbeidet for å hjelpe medmennesker til større indre frihet til å leve ut livene sine, og skape gode relasjoner til andre.

What drives us is the certainty of the difference this work can make in your life. And every human being is woven into it.

With us, no difficulty is too small or too big to be taken seriously. If you are in doubt about whether you have enough reason to get in touch, there is an issue we can openly discuss in the first hour.  

If the problems run deep, you should know that we have cutting-edge expertise in working with complex issues.

We have a long specialization in intensive short-term depth therapy (ISTDP) og har hjulpet mange med flere mislykkede terapiforsøk bak seg.

Terapi / psykoterapi / samtaleterapi: Grave i fortiden vs skrape på overflaten

I terapi jobber vi på ulike nivåer. Først det bevisste nivået, hvor symptomer eller fastlåste mønstre utspiller seg.

Her kan vi intervenere med ulike «verktøy» som er atferdsmessige, kogntive, oppmerksomhetsmessige og fortolkningsmessige strategier for å kunne fekte med symptomer og mønstre, svekke de og fungere bedre i hverdagen.

This is standard for most people who practice talk therapy.

Conversational therapy that goes deeper

Sometimes you do not get where you want to go through these methods. This is often because there are unconscious emotional conflicts at play.

One sees that the problems are irrational, but still fail to stop them. You know how to think, but you can not think like that.

Problemene er rotfestet på et dypere følelsesmessig plan. Vi må derfor arbeide på måter som kan aktivere disse dypereliggende lagene gjennom emosjonsfokusert og psykodynamisk terapi.

We try to do this work in an intensified and efficient way.

In conversation therapy with us, we take as our starting point the symptoms as they appear in life here and now, and analyze the inner dynamics that create the difficulties.

Ofte ser vi at symptomene intensiveres av noe i hverdagen som trigger noe uløst fra fortiden. Da arbeider vi så presist og effektivt i dybden som vi klarer.

Vi graver ikke for gravingens skyld. Samtaleterapi hvor man bare snakker om og dveler ustrukturert ved fortiden har vi begrenset tro på.

But we know that working on the target with specific psychological mechanisms that have set in from an early age can be very potent.

Særlig de som stadig reaktivers i dagliglivet, ofte under bevissthetsradaren. Vi er trent til å se etter signaler om slikt og prøve å gå spesifikt til verks. 

If we do not hit an oar, we move on.

Adapted psychotherapy

Vi tilpasser alltid arbeidsmåten i samarbeid med klienten. Hvordan vi legger opp en samtaleterapi avhenger av målene med terapien og hva som faktisk fungerer for deg.

In the following, we will write about how we work with deep-rooted difficulties. The text is intended to give it a greater understanding of the mechanisms that can form the basis for current problems.

Terapi / psykoterapi/ samtaleterapi: Fra relasjon til symptom – og tilbake igjen

We work on the basis of a mainstream psychological basic assumption that from the time we are born, the need for connection and contact is our primary motivation, and that this continues to characterize us throughout life.

However, we can consciously move away from the basic contact and relationship needs to a greater or lesser degree. Not least in an individualized society.

It is often difficult to see that symptoms on the surface have a sound basis in internal conflicts related to these primary needs.

A child's development is usually about a compromise between authenticity and attachment.

If the degree of adaptation becomes too great, the underlying internal conflicts can be kept in unconscious chess for quite some time. For someone for life.

Psychological crisis as a growth opportunity

For the luckiest, the facade eventually cracks big enough. The symptoms (e.g. burnout, or conflict shyness) blir så tydelige at de ikke kan ignoreres.

Although symptoms are troublesome in themselves, it provides an opportunity to take oneself seriously enough to start in psychotherapy.

In this way, one can work oneself through the underlying conflicts that have often contributed to an imbalance in the soul's life for a long time.

For noen kan dette bety en sjanse til et liv nummer to – mer autentisk og harmonisk fremfor tilpasset og disharmonisk.

Relationship-oriented talk therapy

Happiness research, as well as testimonials from people in the last phase of life point in the same direction: It is the good relationships with others that create meaning and happiness in life.

Precisely because relationships with others are so important to us, difficulties and symptoms can develop in the wake of our attempts at relationship formation.

Disse tidligere relasjons-erfaringene danner indre modeller for hvordan vi ser oss selv og andre.

Om man har blitt såret og frustrert i tidligere tilknytningsbestrebelser, kan man begynne å utvikle angst for at disse følelsene igjen skal trigges.

One ends up taking out a safety distance to other people. There is no need to talk about dramatic trauma.

When we protect ourselves from closeness to others, we simultaneously compromise our innermost desires and longings. We are here to love and be loved. 

Til mer vi fjerner oss fra denne kjernen, til større er potensialet for et ubalansert liv og  symptomdannelse.

With us, you will have the opportunity to work your way through the layers of learned protection you may have built up, and become familiar and finished with old feelings, and restore contact with who you boil down to being.

This may sound far-fetched, but in therapy we try to work with recognized methods, as specific, targeted and concrete as we can.

Therapy / psychotherapy / talk therapy: Despite a good upbringing

Mange av det moderne mennesket psykiske utfordringer bør slett ikke individualiseres. Det er vanskelig ikke å bli sugd inn i the maelstrom of the spirit of the times, where we drown in impossible expectations.

A normal life is also an ordeal, with occasional rough seas and undercurrents that make navigation difficult.

When the mental ailments become more pronounced, we see them primarily as different consequences disrupted internalized relational experiences.

At school you learn that one plus one is two, while in the early relationships you learn how to look at yourself, others and the world.

Both relationship experiences with caregivers and peers can have a formative effect on the self-image, automated assumptions about oneself and others, and ways of dealing with one's own feelings and needs.

In short: Who can I be in the world? And who do I have to be careful not to be.

Sometimes it is obvious: You have been bullied at school or harassed at home.

It is often the case that growing up has mainly been good, but there are still more subtle processes that have taken place.

The child adapts behavior and self-image almost limitlessly to ensure attachment or protect family members.

Being able to give something other to your own children than what you received yourself often requires therapy / psychotherapy, or another form of conscious process.

Bagatellisering og kompensering, eller bent frem ikke være bevisst det man selv har blitt utsatt for, baner vei for å fortsette å behandle seg selv og andre etter samme prinsipper man fikk inn med morsmelken.

The baton is passed on to the next generation.

For å kunne bryte med denne formen for «arvesynd» kreves ofte en anerkjennelse av egne smertefulle følelse knyttet til tap, savn og lengsler.

It is also about being able to withstand the protest that somewhere lies within us against the oppressive aspects of our own upbringing.

Without being affected by a bad conscience and self-punishing needs.

Going through such a process in talk therapy is often hard work, but provides more joy, positive bonds, freedom, love and good health for us who live now and potentially for future generations.

Terapi / psykoterapi / samtaleterapi: Kan det hjelpe, er det ikke bare slik jeg er?

Ved oppstart av psykoterapi tror klienter gjerne at dårlig samvittighet, angst eller andre symtomer bare er slik de er. Det stemmer ikke. Det er det motsatte av den du er.

Det er resultatet av tapte forhandlinger i spennet mellom tilpasning og autentisitet. Det er undertrykkende indre krefter som holder deg og den du egentlig er, eller var ment å være, nede. 

One could say that you are as little these symptoms as a cancer patient is the tumor.

Den gode nyheten er at nærmest uansett hvor prøvet, tror vi at det fortsatt en unik menneskekjerne der, intakt og ventende på å få utfolde seg.

Det er bare for oss å fjerne hindringene og bygge kapasiteten. Oftest kan man komme langt på noen måneder, mens andre prosesser tar år.

Therapy / psychotherapy / talk therapy: Are my problems insurmountable?

What may appear to be insurmountably complex, complex and overwhelming on the surface, often turns out to originate in a single core conflict on the inside.

In a person with anxiety, depression, certain personality disorders and psychosomatic disorders, the symptoms can often give a holistic meaning in light of conflict-filled emotions from previous attachment efforts.

Med tilhørende ulike typer tilpasningstrategier og angstmanifestasjoner. For den over gjennomsnittet interesserte, kan du lese mer om dette i vår specialist thesis on the treatment of complex disorders using ISTDP.

For example: Painful and guilt-ridden feelings towards a critical father are constantly triggered in the face of authorities, even if one is not aware of it oneself.

You just notice that you get nervous and doubt yourself.

Den ubevisste aktiveringen av gamle komplekse følelsene knyttet til far skaper angst – i hode, magen, brystet eller musklene forøvrig, alt avhengig av angst- og følelsestoleransen din (som kan trenes).

To try to keep these feelings in check, one can question one's own experience of father as critical, place guilt and responsibility on oneself with accusations of being touchy and weak, and thus remove the negative feelings towards father by flipping them in.

Denne forsvarsmekanismen (flippe negative følelser inn) skaper lav selvfølelse – med alle følgekonsekvenser det har.

In addition to such mental repressive operations, the body can also initiate immediate bodily repression of, for example, underlying protest.

One becomes lethargically tired, limp, abandoned, discouraged and struggling with helpless and desperate tears. Then the depression will be close to complete.

Om litt av den underliggende protesten kommer opp, erstattes det gjerne lynraskt av dårlig samvittighet.

Dad does the best he can, he felt worse, and a lot is good!

Slike lommer av skyldfølelse i psyken, kan gi grobunn for lettantennelig dårlig samvittighet i hverdagen og ikke minst til et selvstraffende behov.

We help you in a structured way to identify defense mechanisms, practice anxiety tolerance, emotional tolerance and the ability for self-observation.

Da vil du etterhvert kunne holde oppmerksomheten innover lenge nok til å begynne å se hva som skjer, tåle følelser uten angst og ikke lenger trenge forsvarsmekanismene beskrevet over.

Through such structured psychotherapy do not have to doubt yourself, attack yourself, flip negative emotions in, or make it stated heavy and discouraged when difficult emotions approach. 

You get rid of anxiety and depression and the somatic anxiety-related ailments in the head / stomach / muscles.

Self-esteem is strengthened and with it the relationship with yourself and others. Here you can read briefly about how we will set up a therapy against respectively anxiety and depression.

Terapi / psykoterapi / samtaleterapi: For selvmedlidende egoister?

We experience that in many people's psyche, unnatural contradictions are set up between themselves and others. If I pay attention to myself, it will affect someone else.

Dette er ofte hindringer for å la en terapiprosess få lov å utfolde seg. Det finnes selvfølgelig personer som sitter fast i egoisme og som ser for lite opp og ut mot andre. De er sjeldent blant dem som lever et liv i mening, tilfredshet og takknemlighet.

But for most people who choose to seek therapy, the problem is quite different.

Many people struggle with good connections to others because they spend so much energy on the difficult inner processes. This fact can be misused by the ugly on your back as ammunition in a psychological warfare against yourself: You are selfish and self-absorbed.

That is hardly true, you probably rather strive to be able to be yourself with others.

The more structured attention we are able to unite towards your inner processes, the more we will understand of them.

Til bedre muligheter for å lære å regulere vanskelige følelser og løse opp i indre konflikter som virker drivende for angst, usikkerhet, dårlig samvittighet og negative følelser innover mot selvet.

Slik kan du leve friere, til det beste for alle. Det er det psykoterapi handler om.

Ved at vi sammen bryr oss om å forstå deg med nysgjerrighet, nøyaktighet, grundighet og medfølelse har vi en «fighting chance» mot indre undertrykkende krefter.

Therapy / psychotherapy / talk therapy at Psykologvirke in Oslo: Our commitment

Vi i Psykologvirke forplikter oss til å stille med oss selv som hele mennesker og det beste av fagkunnskap for å nå inn til flest mulig mennesker, redusere smerte og fjerne indre hindringer for vekst og utvikling.

Vi arbeider for at alle vi møter skal få ta nye steg mot et liv fri for symptomer, med større indre frihet og med mer glede og kjærlighet. Ringvirkningene av et slikt arbeid når langt.

If you decide to give therapy a try, you are most welcome to schedule an appointment here.

The wait is short so we get started quickly. Come as you are, we'll just take it from there. You will quickly find out if it is for you. We are located in pleasant premises in the center of Oslo by the Storting.

Privat psykolog må betales av egen lomme eller via egen eller jobbens helseforsikring. Om du ikke har råd til dette kan du lese denne guiden over alternativer for å find a psychologist in Oslo.

Some quotes about therapy that may help capture some of our philosophy

«Psychotherapy is a cure through love» (S. Freud)

«Until you make the unconcious concious it will direct your life and you will call it fate.» (C.G. Jung)

«The whole process of life is man giving birth to himself» (E. Fromm)

«Lyset / du treng / fins» (Helge Torvund)