Therapy for Bitterness

In this article you can learn about the key dynamics that form the basis for developing bitterness. You will also gain insight into how we work therapeutically with bitterness and how to easily schedule an appointment online.

Our sessions can take place at our offices in downtown Oslo or via our secure video solution that is available across Norway.

You can easily schedule an appointment online and learn more about video therapy by clicking the button below.

Therapy for bitterness with a psychologist in Oslo

On this page we will briefly outline what you can expect if you contact us for therapy for bitterness.

We have specialized competence, and you will be met by a professional male or female psychologist of your own choosing - and short waiting times.

Therapy for bitterness - existential perspectives

No one wants to be trapped in a cycle of bitterness. There are few things less appealing and less charming. This applies especially to people who don't see their own bitterness or defend it tooth and nail.

People who actually seek therapy are most likely painfully aware of what lifelong bitterness can lead to.  

Knowing that "I'm bitter", wanting to let go of the bitterness, but still not cope, is tough. It is constructive, responsible and rational to see if therapy can help. So welcome you must be!

Use this link if you want to read more in general about how therapy can help.

When you think of the stigma surrounding bitterness, seeking therapy is also a courageous action. We are focused on validating that having bitter feelings is normal.

It is easy to say - and most people know - that one should not be bitter. Yet, the feeling exists for a reason. Few things can be as unfair and hard-hitting as life itself. 

Ingratitude can truly be what the world rewards you with.

Sometimes you play completely over the sideline and are left powerless. And get bitter about life.

Those who have never been impacted in such a way should be careful about moralizing the bitterness of another person. Sometimes life can impact you in ways that other people cannot comprehend.

Calculated evil, for example, exists. Sometimes there is no help in comparing and contrasting. At the same time it is obvious that the degree of experienced trauma has something to do with the degree of bitterness people develop.

This is an insight that the truly embittered often lack or constantly lose sight of. But something those who seek therapy for bitterness can be helplessly aware of.

Why am I bitter?

It can be important to confirm the depth of existential pain and rage that often forms the basis for the development of bitterness. External confirmation is seldom enough on its own.

In certain cases, it does little more than amplify the self-righteousness of the truly embittered victim.

In other cases, the bitter person who seeks help is both aware of it on a rational level yet does not see their fate as cruel - but the bitterness remains.

Our experience is that bitterness often has its roots in old grudges and wounds that on one level or another have been activated.

One perspective is that of bitterness as a psychological defense mechanism. In our experience, bitterness often signals unresolved feelings of psychological pain, sorrow and anger.

By assuming a bitter attitude these feelings remain “half-in, half-out”. The resigned and passive pull of bitterness works as a protection against new disappointments.

The same goes for the repetitive and brooding state. Being stuck in the past protects us, in a way, from future pain.

The externalized focus, where you reduce yourself to a victim, removes the responsibility we all bear for our own lives.

We will challenge the potential defensive functions bitterness performs in your particular case.

Therapy for bitterness - an emotion-focused approach

It takes courage to decide to step out of bitterness. The courage to confront partially avoided feelings from the past and courage to risk new bumps in the road in the future.

In therapy for bitterness, our trained professionals strive for a phenomenological understanding of your internal state.

We will also challenge your bitterness as a possible defense and assess if it is possible to release and shoulder some of the latent feelings in a more direct manner.

Re-establishing contact with the complex emotional landscape beneath the self-reducing and simplified bitterness can be therapeutic in itself. It is possible to take in other wavelengths and see yourself and others in your life from a greater perspective.

When you build this sort of capacity to carry pain, sorrow and anger it will also be easier for you to take a chance on life again. You know that you can process whatever may come and take a chance on happiness again.

In this sort of therapy, which we try to do in an intensified manner, we experience that relevant links to internalized relational experiences come up.

Unprocessed emotional trauma of varying degrees appears to be a risk factor in later development of a tendency towards bitterness.

Becoming conscious of this, receiving affirmation and working through difficult feelings connected to early emotional traumatization often contributes to breaking up the bitterness that has been trapped as a result of a relevant event.

Cognitive approach in the treatment of bitterness

One can view being caught in bitterness as a cognitive lock around limited facts that are given crucial importance.

Everything that can contribute to breaking these locked-in thought patterns and create greater cognitive flexibility can be of assistance.

For example, it can be useful to ask questions surrounding some of the basic assumptions.

Is it really the relationship in question that is so crucial? Would life really have been that different?

Aren't there other relationships that can be as influential to your life and happiness? Are there other perspectives you could view and understand the problematics from?

Bitterness – the virtues that constitute an antidote

Virtues such as forgiveness, gratitude and acceptance can be seen as the greatest enemies of bitterness. Taking responsibility for your own life. And perhaps courage should be added to the list.

In most cases people will understand this on a conscious level. But how can you go from bitterness to gratitude, forgiveness and acceptance?

We believe that the road there is often travelled via processing of complex, repressed emotions, as mentioned above.

It is also possible to work actively and consciously to nurture these more mature feelings in other ways. This can happen through daily practices such as simple meditations and focusing on feelings like gratitude, forgiveness and acceptance.

Will-focused change of perspective in this kind of structured way can help you out of the cycle and into new, healthy patterns.

Schedule an appointment with us - or learn more about public and private psychology options in Oslo here.

Can therapy with a psychologist help release bitterness?

It is impossible to say beforehand who will get something out of therapy. But since it is proven to be of help to many people it is only reasonable to give it a try.

Everyone deserves freedom, joy, love and good health. We are a dedicated team who bring the best of psychological expertise in our work with our clients.

Learn more about what you can expect from our therapeutic services. Or simply give it a try now by scheduling an appointment online in two minutes.

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