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Clarification counseling is an offer to couples where one or both are in great doubt about the future of their relationship. It is not therapy, but a clarifying process where the focus is on being able to make a well-considered choice about the future of the relationship, based on a deeper understanding of what has happened to the relationship, and what has been the contribution of both.
If you have experienced repeated and recurring conflicts over a long period of time, or have experienced betrayal in the relationship which can be difficult to forgive, it is natural to feel doubts about whether to continue in the relationship. At the same time, breaking up can seem like a big and difficult decision with many consequences. Standing in such a choice of path is often a life crisis and it can be experienced as both chaotic and confusing. In such situations, it can be important to take the doubt seriously. Our experience is that it is useful to put your foot on the brake, spend time getting clarity on what has happened, and avoid a hasty choice.
When couples turn to get clarification advice, it is often the case that one of them has the most doubts. We often talk about one party leaning out of the relationship, while the other leans in. We know that such a situation is painful for both parties, both for the person who wants to continue the relationship and fears being abandoned, and for the person who has great doubts about the breakup and the consequences it entails.
Couples who choose clarification counseling can expect to get a safe room where we look after both needs and vulnerability. You will be able to gain a deeper understanding of what has happened to your relationship that has caused you to now stand at this crossroads, more understanding of your own reaction patterns and what has been your contribution to the challenges. When couples find themselves at a crossroads, they are faced with 3 choices:
1) They can continue as before without taking any action
2) They can choose to end the relationship and get help to do this in a good way
3) They can choose couples therapy, which means that both partners are willing to work wholeheartedly with their own contributions to give the relationship a chance.
In clarification counselling, the couple always meet together, but the conversation will be split up so that both parties get some individual time. A typical course is between 1-5 calls and we recommend 90 minutes per call. Clarification advice at Psykologvirke Both Stine Morris Haslund (stine@psykologvirke.no) and Regine N. Larsen (regine@psykologvirke.no) offer clarification advice. Please contact us directly via email if you have any questions.
